Homemade Peanut Butter and Friendships

Last night I had some new girlfriends over. We ate cheese and crackers and veggies and delicious banana bread. We also drank wine while complaining about the weather and how hard it is to make good girlfriends as you get older. Over the past couple years I’ve heard this complaint a lot, from both myself and the ladies I’ve met and it doesn’t seem to be specific to Boston either.

When we are no longer in school with ample time to “hang out” but instead work full-time or take care of children all day it leaves little time for friendship. Seems we’re all yearning for more friends and yet we can’t figure out how to connect. Add a move and a new city to the mix and it makes it all the more difficult.

Plain and simple, as an adult it can be hard to make new friends!

It requires time and effort to develop close friendships and I’ll admit, it can be also be somewhat uncomfortable. It’s almost like a first date, meeting a friend of a friend for coffee or a perfect stranger for a yoga class, where I’m not really sure if we have enough in common to hang out but decide to try anyway. It can leave me feeling a little insecure as I wistfully think of my friends back home. But, then I remember that at some point they too were new friends. They were the awkward meet up for a run or book club or cocktail that grew into these deep, lasting friendships. And that keeps me optimistic.

I can never tell how much is too much to share here. Whether I shouldn’t write about this kind of stuff because it might make me sound childish and whiny. But then I think if I’m having this problem and many of the other women I’ve met are feeling them same, then maybe I’ll just be open about it. I’ll risk seeming less than blog perfect (ha!) if it opens up a dialog and makes us all feel less like we’re the only ones. If you happen to have all the friends you need then I’m a little envious and please ignore the above.

I wish at the end of this ramble I could give a solution. Like a fool-proof app where you could punch in a couple of criteria and presto you’d have 5 new best friends. I don’t have that app. 😦

What I do have is peanut butter. The fool-proof kind where you dump it all into a processor  and presto, you have a new best friend!

See how that worked? The perfect segue from friends to peanut butter in less than 30 words.

This recipe is not ground breaking. There are plenty of homemade peanut butter recipes out there, I’d just never tried any myself. Our last jar of store-bought peanut butter looked like this today.

peanut butter

So, I figured now was as good a time as any to try it. The process couldn’t be simpler and calculating the cost, making my own was about a $1 cheaper. Not a huge sum but I like the idea of being able to adjust the salt and am looking forward to mixing a couple of different kinds of nuts and flavorings together for tailor-made nut butters.

Homemade Peanut Butter (vegan, gluten-free)

1 16 oz bag of unsalted peanuts

1/2 tsp salt


Add peanuts and salt to your food processor.

peanut butter 1 minute

Run the processor for about 4-5 minutes until peanut butter is smooth. Scrap down the sides if necessary.

Peanut butter 3 minutes

Makes one jar. Store in the fridge.

homemade peanut butter 1

Enjoy and Exhale!

19 thoughts on “Homemade Peanut Butter and Friendships

  1. I’ve had the same trouble finding friends, specifically girlfriends that are more than just casual acquaintances, or the spouse or girlfriend of my male friends. I think at some level (leftover issues from childhood and high school) I still wonder if other’s will want me as a friend. I do have friends, but real girlfriends- no..There’s nothing quite like being able to have a great girls night (in or out), sounds like you had a lovely evening! I’m happy for you! 🙂

  2. This friend is so glad you showed up to said “akward” run/ book club 5 years ago & can’t wait to see in 16 days!! yes, i’m counting down:)

  3. It’s like you have channeled my “friendship transition struggle” from four years ago when Andy and I moved to Denver! I so totally have lived what you are experiencing. And it is very, very hard to make “good girlfriends” … especially in your 40s! Good news is … it gets better. You have to continue to work hard at it, but it does pay off. Stay brave. Keep trying. I’m proud of you!

  4. Well im happy to hear its not just me! I too am short good, local girlfriends these days. After moving to Boston from college in VT….my only friend thats a girl is my brothers fiancé…. Sounds odd when I say it out loud but she’s super cool and we have a lot in common. Otherwise, I meet people that I’d love to see more of and I get their contact info and there it ends…as a random number in my phone months later. No follow through! That’s my issue 😉

  5. Pingback: Things I’m Loving 3! | quinoa, kale & exhale

  6. Yum. I eat this stuff by the spoonful! Have also just moved from the UK to New Zealand and can totally relate to what you say here. I miss my UK friends terribly. I’d also love some good close friends here, but everyone always seems so busy….gah! It will happen eventually. I will console myself with a PBJ sandwich in the meantime.

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